Hey Everyone. Let me start my entry by saying that this has definitely happened or will happen sometime along the course of our lives. This situation where you speak to someone and desperately try to convey an idea over to them but they never seem to get it. If you are thinking been there, done that, then you are not alone. I have been suffering as such lately at my lab. What I did before was to blame my mentor saying “Oh well. This person never understands me so maybe we are just not on the same wavelength so lets ignore it and move on!”
That was when the title of this course caught my eye as it popped up in my NUS mail. The mere words “Effective communication skills” opened up a whole new can of worms. A lot of what ifs started cropping up in my mind. What if the problem was with the way I communicated my ideas? What if my non verbal cues were so putting off that the other person was uncomfortable discussing the topic with me?
In the span of the 2 lessons we have had, many interesting concepts have been discussed. For example, the idea of a personal filter is something I never would have placed importance on when communicating with someone before, however, I understand how critical it is now. I am now able to appreciate the way a second person may interpret or view things I say based on their own filter. This has added a whole new dimension to my life and I guess I will always view the conversations I have with people hereafter differently.
Having looked at all the communication channels, personally I feel that I have always had difficulty in verbal face to face communication situations. In terms of the communication skills, the encoding and decoding parts have always been the trickiest. I always fear the situations where you have just briefed someone on a bit of information and this person looks at you with a bright smile, nodding like he understood everything you said, yet there is a gnawing feeling in the back of your mind that he did not get half of what you said or the other situations when you hesitate to approach someone because you fear you may be overreacting to what they said. So hopefully learning some effective communication skills will help me communicate better in the future and be a more confident individual. Lastly, lets also not forget how helpful this module will be when our prospective interviewer decides we get the job right after reading our application letter or when we sweep them off their feet at the interview so to say...
Adios for now.
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Hello divs, this is one lengthy entry (: Anyway I completely empathise with you on the lab situation. We both face very similar issues there. My mentor has mood swings which makes it extremely difficult to communicate because I am expected to read into her mood swings. Previously, I used to think the problem was with me and that she disliked my presence. However, I thought from every angle possible and I knew I had done nothing to warrant such attitude from her hence I decided to be bold and say Good morning, ask her questions very clearly and patiently demanded a response. It worked! We are not exactly the best of friends now but we at least communicate like acquaintances and she does help me out with lab from time to time. Anyway the project is coming to a close so maybe better luck with the FYP mentors!! I hope this experience prepares us to face even tougher challenges such as working colleagues and bosses!
ReplyDeleteHello Divya,
ReplyDeleteI have also come across talking to someone but it seems that she does not get through. Worse off, in most cases, whenever I talk to her, she simply does not reply and I will be left awkward and embarrassed. Initially, I thought that it was beacuse of a personal dislike to me that is why she seems to ignore my message to her.
However, on one occasion, my friends and I mentioned about her and somehow we shared similar sentiments about the situation. From then, I realise that it was not a personal dislike and that she tends to ignore what others say.
Many a time, we can get pretty preoccupied by our hands-on stuff, but I firmly believe that taking a minute off and giving our speaker the respect and attention she needs is not too much to ask for.Doesn't it?
Cheers ,
Serene
Hi, Divya,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more about misunderstanding situation, and I think it is one of the most difficult parts within human relationship. I think the point is it is so difficult to make others understand what I thought completely, and even we couldn't know how they understand about it. That's why we need effective communication skills. Additionally, like your case, how to show them uncomfortable true or opinion in a smooth and productive way is also important.
Hello Divya
ReplyDeleteI agree that many of the times, that when communications fail, it is always more consoling to blame it on the opposite party that the person is just not on the same frequency and we will just never be able to click. Just what about is this ‘frequency’ thing? I wonder sometimes. I am also guilty not being able to get pass my personal filter of people sometimes and this greatly hinders friendship that perhaps the other party is trying hard to build. Being able to perceive and interpret views from the other party’s point of view is something that we all know we have to do but then again it is always easier to say so than do so and more so, we are humans afterall where emotions tend to rule over rationality and logic. And yes, I share your experiences of speaking to someone yet feeling that the person does not register what you are saying correctly, how a focal point is not reached and this then causes a communication breakdown. Lastly, I can’t agree more with you that the communication process is a tricky one and this is probably why this module appeals to most of us as we hope to work towards better communication with others on a whole.
Cheers:)
Thanks, Div, for responding to this topic so appropriately. You've brought the idea of effective comm skills down to your own situation, detailing the problems you have been having in the lab. I like the way you then relate that problem (at least implicitly) to what we have initially discussed, the idea of a personal filter. In short, you've synthesized your own situation and needs well with what is being dealt with in class.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your next post!