People are different. They think differently. They act differently. Where there are differences, conflicts arise. So interpersonal conflicts are inevitable but it still hurts when they occur.My experience of a serious interpersonal conflict with someone occurred when I went to a primary school to relief teach right after my ‘A’s. I got along well with the kids and everything was smooth sailing until one fateful Friday afternoon.
On that Friday, the kids had been exceptionally fast with their work and since we were ahead of schedule, I had given them some free time. Coincidently, some of the upper primary school boys were playing soccer in the field that was situated right outside my classroom. Some of the kids got excited by the activity outside and gathered around the window to watch the game. Since the noise level was low and it was their free time anyway I let them be. Unfortunately, one of the senior teachers in the school happened to walk by. She stopped in her tracks, stomped into my class and started shouting at the kids. I was momentarily taken aback. She reprimanded the kids for not behaving during class time and subtly accused me of not controlling the kids well enough. All in all it was an embarrassing situation. However, it did not end there. Thereafter whenever, the teacher saw me, she would impose on me and explicitly teach me how to handle the kids.
The underlying problem I soon came to realize was our differences in opinion as to how to handle the kids. She preferred an authoritarian style, while I preferred more freedom. I resented the fact that she imposed on me and I felt helpless as I was forced to do things in a way I did not like. Still I tried to be fair and put myself in her shoes. I was able to understand her fear that a newbie like me may not be disciplining the kids enough or that I was being complacent in my teaching but it still took the pleasure out of my teaching experience.
If you had been in such a situation, what would you have done? How would you have approached her? Can talking solve differences in opinion?
Hi Divya,
ReplyDeleteI think you can explain to her that the students have already completed their school work and it was their free time to roam about in class(with minimal noise).
However, if she still insists that you are at fault and have not enforced any classroom discipline, she may have her reasons.
For me, I will first respect her position as a senior teacher. Perhaps, it is her responsibility to guide any new teachers and she may be questioned if the principal walks past and sees the students not doing their work.
You can ask other teachers for their way of handling the students when the latter have completed their schoolwork early. Some schools are stricter in classroom disciplines and do not allow students to idle about even if its their free time.
For this interpersonal conflict, I will treat it as a form of experience and learn along the way.
This is my approach to this situation.Hope it helps !
Cheers ,
Serene
Dear Divya,
ReplyDeleteI think I would hold off confronting the teaching myself until the situation gets really intolerable. Given her authoritarian approach, I would infer that she would demand a certain level of respect from her juniors.
Also I feel that her intentions in "imposing" her ideas on you were actually good. Perhaps she would have genuinely felt that she was helping you adapt with dealing with the children.
She would not have understood that there was actually free time, and that you had left the children do what they wanted. Maybe she had assumed that you had tried to control the kids, but still they did not listen to you.
Honestly, I think maybe approach this situation differently would help. Since she is so helpful, you could have approached her for help on dealing with children. And while she offers you advice, you ask her opinion on different styles of teaching and I am sure you would reach a compromise.
But being a relief teaching, I would not bother confronting the senior teaching. :)
Hi guys,
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for the suggestions. I see that you are all rather positive in your outlook when dealing with the situation.
However, I cannot help but feel defensive as there was actually more to the matter which I did not add as the word limit prevents it. Ha ha but since the comment section is not limited I shall rant on here.
I actually did let her know about what exactly happened in class that day. The teacher was the kind of person who forms an impression of you be it bad or good which she carries to the grave. I tried my level best thereafter to adhere to what she said but it was still hard. Thank God I did not have to see her often though!
However, as Keerthani mentioned I did not actually confront her. What I did was go along with the flow, adjust my style to suit her rules and take it in my stride.
I do realise I may have overlooked certain things that I could have done especially like those ones which you guys mentioned like asking her opinion on things. However, I will keep these in mind the next time I go there again, if I ever do.
Thanks again.
Hi Divya,
ReplyDeleteIf I were in that situation, I would just put up with it. I'll listen to whatever the senior teacher has to say and avoid confronting her since I'm just relief teaching and won't be there for long.
I believe that teacher felt it was her responsibility to tell you how you should respond to the situation. She probably felt that you were a newbie lacking in experience, and wanted to give you tips on how to handle the students.
Every teacher has his or her own unique style of teaching. If for instance, you were a full-time teacher, her actions would imply a lack of respect for you and you should probably talk to her about it.
Gwen
I am rather an expressive person so if i have a problem with someone I will just say it out.... but yes I will do the same thing as you did which was put yourself in the person's shoes.At the same time I would have also gone up to her and tell her how I felt about the situation and try to make her understand my viewpoint so that she wont have to scream at my children anymore. I guess she must have done that to you cause she felt that maybe you, like other relief teachers, were probably being bullied by the children and therfore might have neen trying to help you in a way. So I would have gone up to her and talk it out!
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent post, Divya (and I'm not just saying that because I might be considered a teacher who is less authoritarian than some others!). You describe the context of the problem with great detail and flair. You also pose a clear dilemma for a "newbie" teacher: how to maintain one's own values when they conflict with those of the old guard?
ReplyDeleteYou set this issue up beautifully. Thank you!
Div, this is coming rather late I know... But based solely on your post, I would have requested an appointment with her via email. Probably give her a head up as to why you would want the meeting so that she would not feel ambushed later? Try explaining the reason(s) for your less conservative method(s) of choice. You could also get her view as to why she disapproved of your style. If there was some validity in her reasoning, then of course you may want to keep that in mind. If not, just be true to yourself and follow the style which you believe works best for you with your students. And yes, hope and pray that your paths do not cross too often.
ReplyDelete