Born and bred in Singapore, I have always prided myself on being culturally aware and tolerant. Coming from the multicultural cosmopolitan city, I thought I knew it all until an experience in the US taught me otherwise.
While I was on summer exchange in the US, some friends and I went sightseeing in San Francisco. It was not the most pleasant trip as my luggage bag had given way prior to my landing there. After painstakingly dragging my luggage up the numerous uphill streets and depositing it at the hostel, we left to explore the place. That was when we happened to chance upon a luggage bag shop on the way. I still remember being surprised that the owners were Chinese. After looking around, I decided to purchase one of the luggage bags but realized I had not brought enough cash with me. I approached the shop owner and asked her what time they would close the shop. I knew I had said something terribly wrong when her friendly face contorted with fury and she started shouting at me furiously in Chinese. I was taken aback and left speechless. I was embarrassed as the other customers in the shop had started gathering to see what the commotion was about. I did not even understand why or what she was scolding me for. My friends apologized to the lady and hurriedly ushered me out of the shop. They later explained to me that the Chinese never ask such a question as it is considered inauspicious and signals that the business will not run well anymore. My reaction to their explanation was anger at the unjust way the lady had behaved towards me. Did she not know that I was not Chinese and that I would not know their cultural taboos?
Though till this day, I have not found the answers to those questions, I have come to terms with the fact that when it comes to culture one can never know it all and that intercultural communication is a very delicate subject. My innocent question asked for the practical purpose of knowing the time the shop would close carried a negative connotation in someone else’s culture. It was after this experience that I truly realized the vulnerability of all intercultural relationships.
Hey Divs,
ReplyDeleteI believe the shopkeeper over-reacted. It simply goes to show how much she valued her cultural superstition and whether or not you knew about it was immaterial to her. The fact that someone had said it probably felt like impending doom to her.
I have asked many chinese shopkeepers in Singapore what time they would be closing their shops and none have responded this way. I never got such reaction even once. I guess it is up to an individual to be logical and practical and learn to let go of certain beliefs and superstitions or to hang on to it! Unluckily for you, you chanced upon a superstitious shopkeeper!
Personally, I would tell you not to take the incident to heart. These are certain cultural oddities that we will find out only upon interaction and experience.
Cheers,
Jivs
Hi Divya,
ReplyDeletePersonally, I have no idea that such a taboo exists as well. Like Jivs said, this superstition probably does not exist here in Singapore.
I guess superstitions may be more rooted in certain individuals than others. We may tend to dismiss certain superstitions as being ignorant beliefs with no scientific basis, but such a bias notion will certainly lead to more misunderstandings and conflict in the future. One common example is that of religion. Not everyone can attest to the beliefs of one religion, but everyone agrees that we should respect other religions, rather than to sneer at them.
It may be possible that the lady is a nice person, and her violent outburst is a result of her superstitions and her concern for her livelihood. Thus, like Jivs said, it is probably best not to be affected by it too much.
Hi Divya,
ReplyDeleteI guess such beliefs vary from region to region, and do not apply to all Chinese. As a Chinese myself, I'm unaware of such a superstition. I would advise you not be to affected by this matter and to just take it as a learning experience.
I do agree that intercultural relationships are delicate, thus there is a need to respect other cultures and beliefs. However, it is quite impossible to know the practices of all different cultures. The most one can do is to try to be more sensitive during intercultural interaction.
Gwen
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ReplyDeleteHi guys,
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for the advice. The incident took some time to get over and yes I guess I was pretty unlucky. However, I shall keep your suggestions in mind and take it as a learning experience.
It is impossible to know everything under the sun so being more sensitive during the intercultural interaction may be the best thing to do..
Thanks guys.
Cheers,
Divya
Thanks, Divya, for sharing this anecdote. I have a couple questions. My first question is this: can you be sure that the lady overreacted to your question and not something else? Secondly, how can we be sure that the lady's behavior was not just a reflection of her personality? Are you sure this was cultural? What makes it so?
ReplyDeleteThanks Brad for bringing this up. This is something I have been thinking about since posting this entry.
ReplyDeleteI am pretty sure the lady was angry because of the question I asked her because the friends who were with me actually translated what she said after we left the shop. They told me that she was very upset that I had asked such a question and that her business was going to be ruined at least for the rest of the day.
My friends enlightened me that the Chinese(I guess some, not all) usually do not ask such questions. On second thought, maybe this incident involved more of a superstition related to a cultural/ ethnicity group. However, sometimes superstitions become so entwined in our culture, over time it gets difficult to differentiate. However, I guess it could be seen as cultural as the superstition was founded upon the cultural beliefs of a group of people.